Nearly seven years ago my belly was filled with our first baby girl…and so was my sister in laws. We dreamed of the days they would play together on the porch of the Vineyard home, ski trips they would take together, hair braiding and doll playing where they would imagine together. We discussed our names for our daughters…and shared in our discomfort of our bodies as our bellies grew.
Four weeks before their due date, the dreams shattered.
I remember the moment my brother called to tell me. I fell to the floor and screamed holding my pregnant belly. My heart ached hard – and so loud. Layla, my beautiful niece never took her first breath. She was stillborn on November 11, 2013.
When you live across the country from your family, it is so difficult to find a way to grieve with them. This unbelievable pain they were experiencing – and I couldn’t hug them, I couldn’t cook them a meal, I couldn’t really call them either – the pain was too much for them to speak. And so each day, week would pass – my own body filled with constant fear if my own daughter would make it (after already experiencing an early loss of another baby.) It consumed my being and yet I felt helpless to be there for my family.
My daughter Samantha was born on December 12. And I’m not sure I ever held anything so tightly as she came into the world. My heart was bursting with love, and pain all at once. But she was here, and she would guide me forward.
My brother and sister-in-law continued to grieve and on Christmas Day, they held my daughter sobbing. Nothing was ok. But it seems love finds a way to heal.
In 2016, my brother James and sister in law Laura took their grief, love, knowledge and tech genius and launched Give InKind. A new way for people who go through good and bad times in life – to show their own way of kindness. They took the most devastating moments in their life, and are bringing good to others.
After many years in Corporate America, building my skills, leadership and ability to tell others’ stories, I am honored to join the team
at Give InKind as my next journey.
This is more than a job to me. This is growing at the core.
Join me in the journey…follow Give InKind, use its amazing tools for people in your life…and find new ways to bring kindness forward. If there is ever a time in life where we all need it – its now.
And if at any time you just want another mom to hang out with…join me at meatloafmom.com for a laugh or “yep, thats me too” moment. I will be adding more often! (I promise myself.)
So here’s to new beginnings – embracing the fear of the unknown – and becoming a better me.